


Admitting Faults

by LutenaitMagic



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, CogChamp SMP, Cogchamp SMP characters, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29666271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LutenaitMagic/pseuds/LutenaitMagic
Summary: (DISCONTINUED THING!!!! I'm putting a lot of work into my next couple fics and I want to get something else out before I disappear for a bit! this was written a while ago too)Ranboo wouldn't say he was insane. He swears he's not. Voices in one's head is completely normal, right? Having the most important things to a war right there with you? Not bad at all.And yet he's still so overwhelmed. But Crumb's here too, and you can't be sad with Crumb around.
Relationships: Cuptoast | Crumb & Ranboo (Video blogging RPF)
Kudos: 34





	Admitting Faults

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thatgremlininyourbasement](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatgremlininyourbasement/gifts).



> no summary ideas
> 
> sadge. 
> 
> but it is something out! Next 2 fics are actually gonna be Ranboo villain arc fics because of today's events with Micheal and because I asked too many questions and created a whole 'nother headcannon thing with villain Ranboo so yeah. 
> 
> also another dedicated fic! my wonderful moot! love ya! <3 (/p)

Ranboo nodded at Fundy as he ran off, heading to the Nether to grab some quartz so they could make some more rose quartz. Everything here needed a lot of materials to build anything around here, and it was quite a lot of work. 

So Ranboo was grateful to be alone for a bit.

Just him and his thoughts and dreams and feelings. Nothing else to worry about. Not breaking builds he and Fundy had spent hours on, not screwing up crafting something important, not nearly killing himself messing with some new gear. 

Nothing. 

He sighed, going to the top of their windmill, shuffling through the chests they had stacked across the top. He didn’t really know what he was looking for. 

He chose to look for a book. 

His memory problems would most likely strike here too, even as far away as they were from the terror and chaos that the SMP held. He didn't want to forget anything important here too. 

He found a book after a bit of searching, quickly scribbling down the names of everyone there who he considered a friend. 

_ Fundy _

_ Tubbo _

_ 5uppp  _

_ Sam _

_ Crumb _

_ Myself _

_ :) _

Along with that list he wrote down some of the important events, like the Nether fortress, the train miner, his first day on the server, the teams, everything he could. 

He whispered a few things to himself, words just to calm himself and remind him that nothing could hurt him here, that the people were all his friends and that any rivalries were playful and never meant to hurt anyone. 

To remind himself that Dream wasn't here.

That Dream couldn't hurt him or his friends. 

Ranboo smiled sadly, shaking his head at his wishful thinking. He knew that wouldn't be the case. 

Dream always found a way. 

Dream always found a way to destroy the most beautiful things, to screw up amazing moments, twist memories into horrid ideals, and ruin someone's morals. 

Ranboo felt his breathing increase, getting a bit faster and more labored as he got more and more anxious.  _ No no no _ , he thought.  _ You're okay.  _

He stopped, and couldn't hold back from asking himself  _ Am I though? Am I okay? _ He shook his head, hardening his stare at the ground. 

_ You're fine. Nothing bad is gonna happen here, they're not gonna let you get hurt.  _ Ranboo tried to comfort himself. 

_ They aren't gonna let him hurt me? _

_ He's not here, so he can't hurt you _ . 

Ranboo was having an argument with himself that he wished he wasn't. Everything was toying with him, taunting him as though the world knew he was a lost cause. Everything was intimidating, everything was masked by that strange sense of fear and danger. 

_ Why now? Why always when I'm alone?  _ He asked himself, walking in a small circle a few times to remind himself he was on Earth still. 

_ You only really think and really consider everything when you're alone. You don't want them to worry, to ask. You're afraid you'll get angry or feel like they're invading when you know deep down they aren't.  _

_ But- _

_ You'll shut them out in the end, keep secrets from them. You don't want that, do you? _

The voice slowly began to sound more and more like Dream. 

_ No… I don't want that. Please, I can't let that happen. _

_ Then stop thinking about this now. Stop blaming others for things you know are your own fault. _

Ranboo walked a bit closer to one of the walls, sitting down with his back to it for support. He ran a hand through his hair, messing up where the black and white split slightly. He held his hand there, moving the other to cover his face. 

_ But it's not my fault. _

_ Well, it is. You did everything, didn't you? You, you blew up the community house! Hell, maybe  _ **_you_ ** _ were the one who blew up L'Manberg! _

Ranboo was so lost in his thoughts and so anxious and overwhelmed and just  **not okay** that he didn't hear footsteps around the windmill. 

"No…" he muttered. "No no no no no…" his voice rose to a whisper, then normal speaking tone. 

_ Be quiet. You said you didn't want them to know. You could tell them, you know, if they hear you. I could force you to tell the SMP members that you were the cause of everything.  _

_ I could break their hearts through you.  _

"No… please, don't do that. I- I can't let them get hurt." Ranboo whispered, still oblivious to the person circling around at the base of the windmill. 

_ What did I tell you? Stop talking aloud. You'll give yourself away.  _

_ I- _

_ Okay.  _

"Ranboo? Fundy?" A voice called. Ranboo heard it, the faint call of his name, but it wasn't enough to snap him out of it all, to calm him. 

_ You should tell them you were to one who did it. The disc that's in your possession right now just shows that you did it. That you blew up the community house.  _

_ You should tell them. It'll get the weight off you.  _

_ But they'll hate me.  _

He didn't want to argue with the voice, he just wanted this all to be over. 

"Ranboo?! Fundy?! Someone?!" There was the voice again, calling his name. 

_ They'll hate you even more if you don't come clean. _

"I- no. No no no no no no no-" Ranboo wanted to cry. 

"Please…" 

The voice went silent, but it's words still haunted him, taunting the very idea that he should hide his secrets or tell them. He hated it. 

"I can't do it…" He whispered to himself, not even attempting comfort. He only tried to further his anxiety. "Please don't make me…" 

He lowered himself further to the floor, almost lying down now. "No…" he buried his head in his hands, letting himself cry. "Please." He sobbed, shaking a bit. 

He heard a gasp, but couldn't bring himself to look up. He only covered his head more, refusing to look at whoever it was. 

"Rainbow!" It was Crumb. She sounded scared, and Ranboo could hear her footsteps pound on the wood floor as she ran up to him. 

"Rainbow, what happened?" She asked, squeezing herself into the space next to him. They were between a few chests which made it even harder to sit next to him. 

He stayed silent, still not looking up. "Rainbow…" she prodded, putting a hand on his shoulder. "No" He managed to say, still keeping his head in his hands. "Rainbow, it's okay! I'm here! And I brought cake!" 

He let out a choked laugh, smiling beneath his sorrow. "Would you like some?" She asked, cocking her head. Ranboo finally lifted his head and looked at her. Her eyes widened a bit and he laughed. 

"Do I look that bad?" He asked with a chuckle. "No, no, it's just… I forgot about how Endermen react to water." She rushed, spawning in a cloth. "Here." She smiled, and Ranboo thanked her. 

“Do you wanna tell me what happened?” Crumb asked after Ranboo felt like he was put together well enough. “I- I don’t know.” He whispered, and she sighed. “I can’t help you unless you at least tell me something.” She said, wrapping her arms around Ranboo.

He seemed a bit startled at first, before relaxing and moving to hug her back. “What happened?” She asked again, pulling back to look at Ranboo. He growled, and Crumb jumped a bit, before going back to hug him and bury her head in his shoulder. 

“Sorry.” She muttered, “I forgot you didn’t like eye contact.” Ranboo smiled, sighing. “It’s okay Crumb, it didn’t really bug me that much, I guess it’s just everything else.” 

“It’ll be okay! I promise!” Crumb exclaimed, smiling. “I promise I won’t let anything bad happen to you or Sam or 5up or Tubbo or Fundy or the server! I’ll protect it all!” She grinned, and Ranboo couldn’t help but laugh at her childish nature. 

“It isn’t that easy Crumb. I wish it was but, we have to live with what we’re handed.” Ranboo whispered sadly, pulling Crumb a bit closer to him. “What do you mean Rainbow?” 

Ranboo attempted to turn his head a bit, taking one of his arms from where it was wrapped around Crumb to point over the wall. She turned her head to follow his gaze, which occasionally flicked back to him. Her eyes were filled with confusions as she finally settled on looking at some of the mountains in the distance. 

“Way over there, you see?” He asked, and she nodded. “That’s the Dream SMP.” “Really?” She squinted, trying to see something she knew she couldn’t. “Mhm. Fundy, Sam, Tubbo and I came here to escape. Escape the wars and everything for just a bit. To get away from it all, to run away.” 

“But what happened a few minutes ago? What was wrong, what happened that upset you that much?” Crumb tried, and Ranboo finally cracked. “Alright, I’ll tell you, but you have to promise you won’t tell anyone from the SMP.” “I promise.” 

Ranboo took a deep breath, and kept his gaze to the ground and his head bowed slightly. He didn’t want to look Crumb in the eyes when he admitted all his faults. “I heard a voice. The voice belonged to Dream. I have memory issues and have done loads of horrible things in my life that I don’t remember because of that.” He ignored her gasp and the feeling of her gripping a bit tighter on his jacket. 

“I did some terrible things that resulted in other terrible things within the borders of the SMP. I blew up the community house, I helped Dream and Techno get the TNT they needed to blow up L’Manberg, I have one of the discs that has caused so many wars and conflict in the SMP.” She buried her head in his shoulder again, balls of the fabric of Ranboo’s jacket in her fists. 

“I was hearing his voice again, Dream’s, reminding me of all these horrible things, saying how if I didn’t come clean as a traitor he’d expose me himself, and he even started threatening everyone here, even you and 5up. And I just panicked.” Ranboo shut his eyes tight, not wanting to see anything. 

“Rainbow…” Crumb muttered after a moment. “When did all the other stuff happen?” She asked. Ranboo was caught off guard, he didn’t expect that to be her first reaction. “Recently. It’s only been a couple weeks since L’Manberg got blown up, and maybe a little longer than that since I started hearing Dream’s voice in my head.” 

“Is there a way to get rid of it?” “I don’t know, I haven’t really asked.” He admitted, watching Crumb frown as she thought. “Does anybody else know about everything?” “You’re the only one who knows about the voice, and now you, Techno, Phil, and Dream know about the community house and the disc.” 

“That-” She started, searching for the right words. “How did you even get yourself pulled into this?” "Exactly what you just said, I got pulled into it. I was roped into all their wars from the very beginning." He shook his head, hating those words coming out of his mouth. 

"I'm so sorry." Crumb whispered, tracing shapes into Ranboo's back to distract herself. "I'm so sorry all that happened to you." "It's not your fault, if it's anyone's fault it's my own." He smiled, hugging her a bit tighter. 

"No, don't blame yourself! It's not your fault!" She said, and Ranboo laughed. "Okay, okay, I won't blame myself." He said, and she nodded. "Good." 

Neither chose to let go yet, as Ranboo wasn't fully calm yet and Crumb seemed to be having a bit of fun, inspecting the rose quartz Ranboo had handed her after a bit. They were okay there, sure a little squished but that didn't matter. 

They'd be okay. 

Ranboo wouldn't let Dream find any of them out here, he'd make sure none of his friends got hurt. Everything would be okay in the end, they'd all be okay. 

At least he hoped they would. 

**Author's Note:**

> TWITTER: @/Lutenait


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